photo credit: The Wrap
I often hear parents voice concerns about their child’s “mis-behavior,” but then yell and say mean things at their children in the same 50-minute session (and most likely at home every single day). This is a real tough place to be y’all, and yet here we are, working on it together, no shame or judgment, only our commitment to learn and grow.
This shameproof parenting principle, by Mercedes Samudio, has been a great reminder for me to check my own biases when working with families, practice empathy, and get back to serving these brave souls in front of me. Especially as a completely imperfect parent myself, I admit my own need for help and try the best I can to meet parents where they are, as a fellow sojourner trying to figure this out. In times like these (always time for a music break!!) I’ve found attachment-based language to be a helpful resource and launchpad for dialogue around parenting, raising awareness, and child development.
Here’s a list of three resources that I’ve found especially helpful, use them however you like and up that attachment game today!!
- Circle of Security (3 short animations, 4 min. each, super helpful!!!)
- Nurturing Resilience (rich material, lots of applications, main point is about coping/regulation)
- Beyond Logic, Consequences, & Control (Heather T. Forbes LCSW, trauma-informed model; while it’s not attachment language per se, I’d still consider it a helpful voice in the conversation, especially for families on the adoption/permanency spectrum; super-raw un-edited and un-refined basic main point is kids respond either from “fear or love”)
BONUS: this video on parenting/coaching from Dr. Becky Baily was not only entertaining and well-produced, but a powerful tool for helping parents reflect on their own journey as kids and provides a model for parents as they struggle with their response to their kids’ dysregulation).
What are some resources around attachment that you’ve found helpful in your family or practice?
I’d love to hear from you!
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