Through the way we talk about them.
Birth moms, what needs to change? How can we shift the way we’ve been talking about you? And the way we’ve been serving you?
For some adoptees, we’re born and then for most of our lives we hear some form of the script, “She couldn’t take care of you, so she gave you up for adoption.”
Or, “She wanted what’s best for you, so she gave you away.”
Or, the list goes on. And sometimes, those statements aren’t inaccurate. There are some situations that go beyond the scope of this message. I get that and I want to graciously recognize those circumstances.
What we’re asking is how does that general narrative shape our view of unwed/single mothers in general? And how might it shape adoptees’ view of themselves as they seek to understand or identify with their birth family/culture?
My mom was unwed. Then, she raised me alone after my dad died. A friend let her live in an attic for a few months, but no one else helped her.
Dear birth mothers, you are loved.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You belong in the story.
There’s dignity in your narrative.
And even though you’re physically absent you continue to be with us. We’ve got you in mind and we’ll do our best to speak and think highly of you, more significant than we can imagine.
It’s fascinating to me how Jesus was born through an unwed mother. The greatest narrative of all begins with such a socially stigmatized scenario. I appreciate how Scripture speaks so highly of Mary. I’d challenge you to do the same for birth mothers in our culture; for women in general.
The more highly you think of someone, the more inclined you are to serve them.
For Christians: I’m not saying we should worship or idolize “unwed pregnant women.” But, our idea flows from a greater question (from Matthew 1:18-25), “Imagine, what could change in the world if we thought highly of God?” This, I’d argue, was Joseph’s heart of worship as he chose to love Mary rather than shame her.
What do you think? I’ve love to hear from you! Feel free to send thoughts/wonders to firstname.lastname@example.org to join the conversation.
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